Stop playing cat and weasel
by Zancora123
Summary: Her childhood was hell the only good part was her cousin, whom she hates. after years of being alone. she is rescued by that same relative and his friends. what happens when this xdressing girl joins akatsuki? can the catgirl stop playing with the weasel?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: this is for ITACHI! **

**Name:**** Hiroshi Iwatoshi (I looked up dei's last name on Google, she is his cousin)**

**Village****: Iwagakure **

**Keki Genkai:**** same as Dei's, one from her mom which has no name cus I made it up.**

**Appearance:**** 5 foot 7 inches, lighter blue eyes than Dei, (she is supposedly blind due to a wound she received from a kunai being drawn across her eyes, but only the akatsuki knows she can see, and those outside of the org. die within minutes of finding out.) really short blonde hair, with long bangs that cover her right eye, and a long scar that extends from her eye brow to right above her mouth. The tips of her ears look nibbled on. (Birth mark) she also has a scar going form her right collar bone, to the junction of her under arm and torso. Hiroshi also has a tattoo of the Iwa symbol on her neck instead of a headband. **

**Gender:**** Female, despite dressing and looking like a boy. (Still looks like a girl but looks like a girl Dei with really short hair) **

**Interests: ****Cats, killing, singing, literature, sweets, training, missions, and Itachi.**

**Dislikes:**** Her cousin Deidara, laziness, getting nothing done, spinach, feeling or showing weakness, Iwa, Konoha, Hidan, Tobi, Pein, Orochimaru, Kabuto, Lady Gaga, Preps, stories with happy endings.**

**Phobias:**** Pink, feeling like she's on the edge of the world, being in water wear its so deep she can't see the bottom, putting her head in running water, small dark places, Orochimaru, Ibiki, the Sharringan.**

**Abilities:**** Earth based chakra, can transform into various cat species (mother's Keki Genkai) all the same abilities as Deidara but uses them less often, prefers her clay sword. ) Stronger and sharper than ANBU swords.**

**I do NOT own Naruto.**

Pein looked at the bickering ninja sitting along the table. Only Sasori, and Itachi were being civilized, and the red headed leader was trying to hold back a migraine. Once they had settled down, he began the meeting. "Our last order of business, gentlemen… we are going to be recruiting a new member." He tossed a file to Itachi and Kisame, and Sasori and Deidara. "His name is Hiroshi, and I think he will be good for the organization."

"NO, UN!" Deidara shot up, having read the full name. "We are NOT recruiting my BITCH of a cousin!" they all looked at him.

"Cousin?" Pein asked, lifting a pierced eyebrow.

"Hiroshi Iwatoshi is my cousin, hmm." The blonde replied angrily.

"Just what we need, another brat." Sasori muttered under his breath.

"I don't really care, Deidara. Itachi, Kisame, Sasori and you are going to retrieve him. You can find Hiroshi in Orochimaru's recently abandoned base along the fire country's border. Zetsu has made sure that he isn't fatally wounded, and you all leave immediately."

"Orochimaru? What is Hiro doing there, un?"

"Apparently he was captured and used as a test subject." The pierced man replied, boredly. "Meeting adjourned." Every one, with the exception of the four on a mission, left the room.

"Deidara, can you tell us anything about your cousin?" Sasori asked, hours later as they flew towards the Fire Country. Said blonde shrugged.

"I haven't seen Hiro since grandfather's funeral, un." Sasori glared at him, and Dei flinched. "Ok, ok. Hiroshi looks a lot like me, and we have a lot of the same abilities. We both use the exploding clay Keki Genkai. But Hiro has one from her mother. She can turn into various cat species, hmm." He paused, as if in thought for a moment. "Hiro also likes to store clay in her arms, just incase, and uses a sword made of clay, and also she uses earth Ninjutsu. Hiro is also a real bitch…"

TIME SKIP! (A few days)

Hiroshi walked slowly, using the wall as support, she cursed as her wound pulsed with pain. She only made it halfway down the hall when 4 men wearing cloaks and hats, stopped in front of her. Since she could not see their faces, she tensed and readied the clay in her arms.

"Hiro-_kun_, nice to see you again, hmm." She glared at the insult and speech impediment.

"_Dear_ cousin Deidara-_Chan,_ is that you?" she pushed off the wall and stood straight as her cousin, took of the hat and scowled at her.

"I'm a _boy_, un."

"God, you still have that damned impediment, hmm?" her hand slapped over her mouth, then she lunged at him and round-house kicked his face. "Bastard! It took me _years_, to get rid of that speech habit, un!" She picked him up by the collar and punched him before dropping him. Despite this, the terrorist bomber smirked as he got up, clearly taking pleasure in getting under his cousin's skin.

"I know, yeah." He said smugly, and Hiro winced at the wound in her side, having reopened in when she kicked Deidara.

"Crap, I tore some of the stitches…" she muttered as she looked at the cut. Itachi made to stop her but, Deidara stopped him.

"She's deathly afraid of the Sharringan, un." He warned, and went to help his cousin. The other three watched her as she eyed Itachi warily.

"Sasori, give her a dose of your chakra-absorbing poison. A non-lethal dose" the puppeteer looked at the Uchiha quizzically. "Orochimaru's chakra is seeping from that wound." Hiro's head shot up at that, then her eyes widened in realization. She released some clay from her hand and shaped it into a kunai, then she made the wound deeper.

"What the fuck?" Kisame asked.

"I was injected with the snake's blood, I have to get it out if my system." She explained, and started swaying slightly. Hiroshi, took the clay kunai, and used her chakra to reshape into thread. Moving slowly, she used her, rather amazing chakra control, to stitch the wound closed again.

"That's new, yeah." Deidara commented, and Hiroshi smiled before passing out from overexertion, and blood loss. Hiroshi awoke on a flying clay bird. Feeling dizzy, she put her hand to her head, as if to steady herself.

"How long was I out?"

"A day and a half, though I was expecting longer. Seeing as how I had to poison you to get the rest of that snake's chakra out of your blood." Sasori replied, in a monotone. Hiroshi nodded and sat up fully.

"Hiroshi, this is Sasori, Kisame, and I'm Itachi." Itachi said before she could even ask their names. After a while the bird landed, and they set up camp, Hiroshi being careful not to reopen her wound. "Be sure to take it easy, we'll be arriving tomorrow, and Leader-Sama will be displeased if you arrive dead."

"I appreciate that you all helped me. But I have no desire to join an organization, or to go anywhere with my _Dear _cousin." She said politely, looking into Itachi's coal eyes. The Uchiha quirked a brow at her.

"Then how about a deal?" the raven asked.

"And what do you propose, might I ask?" she asked, skeptically.

"Fight me. If you win, then you may go free." Itachi replied.

"And should I lose, I go with you willingly?" nodding, Itachi activated his Sharringan, causing Hiro to flinch subconsciously. "Very well. Dei, may I borrow your clay? Oh, I have built up an immunity to Genjutsu, so your Sharringan is useless on me." Itachi raised both brows, and Deidara handed a bag of clay to his cousin. Both assumed a battle stance and Hiroshi released chakra infused clay from her hand, and made a few small explosives shaped like panthers. "Deidara, one word about art and I'll blow up your hair." The blonde male gulped and Kisame laughed while Sasori and Itachi snickered somewhat.

"Leader-Sama, they have retrieved the girl. **Itachi is fighting her. He has made the same deal as **the one he made with the cross dresser." Pein nodded at the plant-nin's report.

Hiroshi dodged another fireball as she threw a bomb at the Uchiha. Having the time of her life, she infused more clay with her chakra, and shaped into a sword. Laughing like a small child at a park, she ran at the raven haired man. He dodged again, and noticed she was increasing her speed.

"Hahahahaha! You're amazing Itachi-san!" she said breathless, and smiling like a young girl in candy shop. "Much stronger than I, Hahahahaha! But still so stoic, and polite too!"

"I should've mentioned that she likes fighting a little too much, hmm." Deidara muttered sheepishly.

"That would have been good to know, gaki." Sasori replied. (gaki means brat)

"Your abilities are impressive as well, Hiroshi-San." The weasel noted.

"Aww! Thanks Itachi-San!" she said giggling, clearly high off the adrenaline the fight had caused her body to pump through her bloodstream, and lunged again. She just missed him, and he retaliated with a side-kick to the head, sending her flying. She landed on her feet and skid to a stop twenty yards away.

"Hahaha! It's no fun if you don't get injured, don't you think?" she asked wiping blood off of her chin. Then, faster than anyone could see, (except Itachi) Hiroshi threw her blade at the Uchiha. It hit him in the chest and detonated, the clone disappeared into hundreds of crows, as Hiro shifted into a white Bengal tiger. The fight lasted for hours, and finally, Hiroshi collapsed to her knees, holding her wound as it bled. "Hahahahaha! That was SO much fun, Itachi-san!" she said happily, and they all looked at her. "Can we do it again?" the blonde woman asked, jumping to her feet excitedly. All the men just stared at her, open mouthed, and sweat dropping, even Itachi.

"No, now lay down. You'll bleed to death, and we can't have a dead member." Itachi said, expressionless.

"AWWW! But I wanna fight some more!" she pouted, then perked up again and ran to her cousin. "Dei-Chan, you should fight me!"

"No, un. The last time I fought you, I had to wait four YEARS, to have full control of my limbs again, yeah." She pouted some more, and dropped her head like a cat. Sasori looked at his partner, as Deidara held his sleeping cousin's head in his lap, stroking her head.

"Deidara, just out of curiosity, what is your cousin's gender?" the red head asked.

"Hiroshi is a girl, un." The others all looked at him.

"So, does your entire family have cross-dressing issues?" Kisame asked, dead serious. Deidara vein-popped, and threw a small spider shaped bomb at the kiri-nin.


	2. Chapter 2

**PLEASE READ THE ENTIRE NOTE! And disregard what you find useless…**

HI GUYS! I KNOW….. I fell off the face of the earth…. I'm sorry… my muse like literally died. BUT! I'm back and I'm ganna be typing up a storm over Xmas break, I PROMISE! I have no idea when the actual updating will be going on… more than likely once I get at least one chapter of every story typed, then I'll be working on my new stories, then I'll be writing on paper for a while and repeating the process, but in A LOT less time….. So I just wanted to let you all know that I didn't actually die…. Oh, and for a while I couldn't actually use my computer. It's a laptop, and I thought the battery had busted… turns out it was the adapter, I ended up actually physically breaking it by dropping my laptop on top of it…. *cringes at memory of scary noise* but I am now borrowing my mom's… turns out she actually does love me, lol I'm joking… mostly… any way…. So after I get today's quota done, I will be going on my Wii and playing my Zelda game I got for Christmas…. No it isn't the new one… my parents couldn't afford that one so I got Twilight Princess and it's really fun actually, I mean I can figure out the funky ass plant room in the forest temple dungeon, but whatever…. So pray the laptop holds up, and that my love life doesn't get any better, 'cause if I get a boyfriend…. You all are screwed…. And for the record, I changed my profile picture, when it will actually show up I don't know, but that picture is only two years old, and the only difference is my hair length, it's at my law line now, just incase you wanted to know what I look like…. And yes, I know it's shocking to find out my real gender! GASP! *not really the type of stories write gives it away* well, thanks for your time, I love all my loyal readers, and Idk when but probably in 2013, I'll be going to Youma-con with E, Akuma, Emily, whichever name you prefer… (Only die hard yaoi fans know what that is…) but we will be bringing guy friends, one for me and one for her….. and I am slowly recruiting Emily into the ranks of Yaoi fangirl-dom! SOON! SOON her transformation will be COMPLETE! *laughs loudly and maniacally, kinda like Kenpachi* well, sorry for wasting you time with half the useless info in this note…


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